Apart from breastfeeding, some fathers are very active from the moment the baby is born. They even stay in close contact with the unborn baby during pregnancy and display involved fatherhood by moving away from their old-fashioned father roles. Psychology Scientist İlkgün Demir stated that one of the most important roles of the father, who has many roles in the child, is the role he plays on the child’s sexual identity. Their physical development is also healthier. Children of fathers who take an active role in child development have stronger ability to cope with life than children who cannot get the nourishment of the soul such as value, affection, love and approval from their fathers ”.


Although different ages and periods are mentioned in different theories, İlkgün Demir emphasized that parental relationship is as important as food for children aged 0-6 and said, “In this period, establishing healthy communication with children, making the child feel safe and loved is as important and valuable as the ‘physical care’ of the child. This period will affect and shape all life. “We are all based on today’s decisions, choices, fears, anxieties, self-confidence, perception of life and others, and even our mate choice and positioning our sexual identity.”


Stating that there are changes in the fatherhood role with the contribution of the woman’s fast active working life compared to the past, and the contribution of the changing time and process, Demir said that the father role can now be talked about as a father who plays with her child after coming from work, spends time together on weekends, teaches her children, chats, and shares. told. Noting that the first care of the child is still on the mothers, Demir said, “Of course, local differences are still observed according to social values. For example, while the father in the high-income group with a high education level and / or socio-economic status may be more interested, in more ethnic and authentic parts of our country, perhaps the father may still be closed to communication as a symbol of authority. Some invalid beliefs from the past such as ‘not spoiling the child or the child who is afraid of the father will be respectful’ may also be effective in this.

Stating that the parent relationship is the behavioral patterns that the child first witnesses, Demir noted that the child’s communication language is established by observing his parents, and that he learned the definitions such as borders, approach to events, respect and love by observing their parents. Demir continued his words as follows:

Saying, “You should be the same as you desire a child” said Demir, “The child will define himself, others and life with your relationship, and if he gets a wrong definition in this period, he will also affect his decisions in his future life. In this sense, communication between mother and father is as important as the salt of the food that will always be remembered for the child and will contain a part in every behavior. “


Emphasizing that violence is a learned behavior, Demir noted that children who grow up in an environment of violence and insult are prone to crime and addiction. Saying that the physical existence and emotional disappearance of the father can cause severe traumas in the child, Demir said, “While a child who has been deprived of compassion and love does not have any choices or decisions, partner choice or relationships in a healthy language, how can an individual who has been subjected to violence or witnessed violence? Can we expect him to feel compassion for himself, to others? In fact, can you imagine the traumas that a child, who plays the most important role of the father, will have on the formation of sexual identity in a girl and a boy separately? A girl will be drawn to this feeling of being ignored and battered, which was familiar in her childhood, for example, in her romantic relationships. For the most familiar emotion would be to be battered, despised, insulted and ignored. Or it may always be prejudiced against marriage and partnerships, ”he said.


Stating that the children want to be loved, to feel valued, to be accepted and seen by their fathers, Demir said, “They want to spend quality time together, chat, watch a movie and maybe discuss about it, and wants their success to be appreciated. But in his frustration or sadness he wants to feel his hand on his shoulder or to be able to cry next to him. The simplest wants to create memories, want to hug, to get on his shoulder, and to be himself who rests his hand on his shoulder at the end of a certain period of time. He also ended his words by saying ‘tell a tale’.

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