Specialist Clinical Psychologist Gülçin Şenyuva drew attention to the factors necessary to ensure a happy marriage and gave advice on what couples should do.
Marriage is a union that requires harmony
Expressing that humans are social creatures, Gülçin Şenyuva said, “The institution of marriage is a part of social life and it is a union that individuals must adapt to. The necessity of harmony, which includes the spiritual, emotional, sexual and social relations of individuals in marriage, cannot be denied. This harmony is among the important factors that form the basis of the physical and mental health of the spouses. said.
It covers the concepts of marital adjustment, marital satisfaction and happiness in marriage.
“Happiness in marriage; It expresses the feeling of satisfaction in the relationship of the individual” said Gülçin Şenyuva, “It includes the feelings of individuals about marriage. Marriage satisfaction is; It is an important indicator of whether the marriage will continue, but it is not the only indicator. marital adjustment; It covers the whole concepts of marital satisfaction and happiness in marriage.” he said.
Is there a definition of a healthy relationship?
Stating that there are constructive communication skills and feelings of value between spouses in a healthy relationship, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Gülçin Şenyuva said, “A healthy relationship is a relationship where spouses can solve problems together, meet the needs of individuals, contribute to their personal development, establish relationships by adapting their physical and social environments, and use environmental resources of spouses. It is the definition of a relationship that the spouses can use and adapt to the changing living conditions together.” he said.
Divorced men at higher risk of death
Gülçin Şenyuva said, “When we look at the statistics for 2020, 35.3% of divorces occur in the first 5 years of marriage, and 20.7 percent occur in the 6-10th years of marriage” and drew attention to some studies:
“Mean age at death for divorced or widowed men is much lower than the general population and the death rate is 2-3 times higher than for married men; It has been determined that the rates of depression in married and unhappy women are 8-25 times higher. The fact that spouses provide support and communicate in case of need reduces the possibility of feeling lonely and showing depressive symptoms. In this regard, the following question comes to mind. Is there a link between marriage and mental or physical health? It can be said that as spouse support and healthy communication between spouses increase in marriage, marital satisfaction will increase and physical health can be better.” he said.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Gülçin Şenyuva said, “So, are there any happy couples in this context? Happy couple; who can think that the problems that arise are not due to one of the spouses, but to the relationship between the spouses; They are couples who can confront the problem, not each other, act together to solve the problems, and see the problems as solvable.” said.
We need to be us by protecting the selves.
Gülçin Şenyuva summarized the sine qua non of a healthy relationship in marriage as follows:
“A good communication, the ability to solve problems together, to set common goals, to give a sense of trust, to be consistent, to love the person I am with, to be happy together in the routine, and to be “us” by protecting the “me”s.”
These signs are harbingers of unhappy marriage!
Noting that there are some critical signs that there are problems in marriage, Gülçin Şenyuva said, “The individual’s focus on what his spouse does not give, rather than what he gives; blaming his wife for negativities; being told that someone of the same sex as your spouse, unlike my spouse, “listens or understands me better”; starting to think that “my wife is a good mother/father but not a good wife”; Making judgmental sentences like “I tried everything but it doesn’t work” is the footsteps that lead to an unhappy marriage.
Marriage is the triumph of unity over solitude.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Gülçin Şenyuva says, “In a healthy marriage, violence, alcohol-substance addiction, excessive jealousy, the thought of “I can make my wife the way I want”, efforts to “control my spouse in every aspect”, not being open to sharing and repetitive infidelities should be avoided. It should not be forgotten that marriage is the victory of unity over loneliness.” he said.