It is necessary to understand how much jealousy is normal and where is it a problematic situation. Jealousy is not an innate behavior. As our life begins, we begin to share things. When we realize that the attention we see has diminished, our jealousy, that is, envy begins. The feeling of jealousy starts to develop at the age of 2-3 years. The reason for jealousy in the first years of life is mostly because of the sharing of love. Sharing father with mother or sharing mother with father is the first jealousy. Afterwards, the sibling is born, this time sharing the love of the sibling with the mother or father initiates the feelings of jealousy. Even sibling jealousy can last a lifetime.
In the process that begins with adolescence and reaches old age, the beloved or spouse becomes jealous. Jealousy is a natural occurrence in relationships with the opposite sex. It is rare to never be jealous. However, many people may interpret this as the absence of love. Indeed, in some of the relationships where there is no jealousy, it can be observed that the person has no interest in his partner or lover.
How far jealousy should be regarded as normal has always been discussed. Extreme jealousy in both men and women makes life unlivable. We can consider this as a behavioral disorder. Psychiatrist / Psychotherapist Asst. Assoc. Dr. Rıdvan Üney gave information on the subject.
How do you know if your spouse or lover is overly (abnormal) jealous:
1. Fights and arguments occur between you because of jealousy.
2. Physical or verbal violence may occur.
3. He starts counting almost everything as evidence.
4. Jealousy is the only thing spoken of between you.
5. Jealousy crises can cause the relationship to end.
6. It disrupts all your social relationships, does not allow you to meet with other people. Sometimes it may even ban you from meeting with your fellow men.
7. It interferes with your clothing and make-up excessively.
8. It closes your social media accounts.
9. You can listen to your phones.
10. Frequently asks where you are on the phone.
11. It makes sudden raids on your business.
12. He doesn’t want you to leave the house alone. It even wants to go everywhere with you.
13. Examines your phone and credit card transcripts.
14. They have extremely skeptical attitudes.
15. Being late for any reason causes serious quarrels.
16. You will always have to prove your innocence.
17. Sometimes voices strange or funny cheating scenarios that you will never think of.
If you are having such problems, first pay more attention to him. Do not be overly argumentative about jealousy issues. Spend a little more time with it. However, if there is no change despite these, you should definitely get help from a psychiatrist or psychologist together with your partner.
Jealousy is an important problem in our country. In a scientific research in our country; It has been revealed that 70% of the violence inflicted on the spouse is due to jealousy.
Causes of extreme jealousy between spouses:
1. A problem of one’s self-confidence.
3. Some personality traits.
4. Feeling worthless.
5. Comparison with others.
6. Suspicious behaviors of the spouse.
7. Lack of expressing love of the other party.
8. Excessive fears of abandonment.
9. Do not constantly compare yourself with the other person.
10. Perceiving other people as threats.
11. Diseases that cause some mental impairment such as schizophrenia.
12. Heavy alcohol consumption.
13. Using drugs.